swim

a tiger can never change his stripes. countless attempts and look at how low i've sunk. the worst part is... there's no one else to blame. im done and its time. what to do with a tiger... the only thing i should have done a long time ago, leave him be with all his appeals... and stripes.

selfexplanatory

I wish I could believe you then I'll be alright

But now everything you told me really don't apply

To the way I feel inside

Loving you was easy once upon a time

 But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same
And it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

I know she was attractive but I was here first...

p.s.

when my dreams turn into nightmares and sleeping becomes a habit i resist the most.. that's when i know being with you is unhealthy. yet everytime i try to make a run from you, i lost all the reasons i have listed on my mind.

i hope one day you'll read this and realize how much you've hurt me.

sluuuuuuttttt

you have made me hate:

1. Jakarta
2. Finland
3. Finnish girls
4. Brunettes
5. The letter 'L'
6. Sydney
7. Senayan City
8. Kemang
9. Your room
10. Your kitchen
11. Your car
12. Your house
13. Vincent
14. George
15. Laura
16. Lauren
17. Rebecca
18. The slut
19. You (sometimes)
20. Myself

and everything else that reminds me of it.. I feel angry all the time and it's exhausting. I need some peace but i cant seem to find it..

"Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it’s the only person who will ever receive all of you. After that, you learn better. But, most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved - a piece no future lover could ever get, no matter what. That piece holds innocence - the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong"

i guess im going to be seconded again from now on.

let's see how long this will last...

so easy at times

HEYA CHIPMUNK!

white smoke

with cigarettes... it's so easy to kill the stick, but the smell will still linger for much longer

and that's how it is.

stop

it's

e

x

haus

t

i

n

g

i feel like crying all the time.

red rectangle room

the walls are getting colder as i lay my forehead against them. i refrain from falling asleep and as i rest my head back onto the pillow, the coldness seeps through the cranium...numbing my brain. delightful!

but then, your skin....

The funny thing is nobody ever really knows how much anyone is hurting. We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn't even know.

i dont know if i can.......anymore

kebeb sakit :(

kwek, get well sooooooon

lice in lies

you say with her there's nothing......... bullshit.

even they knew you two were a blooming scandal.

heaven and hell

take it slow, baby. this time we'll take it sloooooow.

make me forget

a stylist can tell when someone's attire is mismatched,

a lawyer will always see the world in black or white,

a musician spots the misplaced tempo during a concert,

a scientist always questions matters to the core, or even beneath that.

i have only realized that when one masters a profession, it starts picking out the negatives too instead of simply admiring the experience. maybe this is why you can hardly find a stressed out toddler. unlike adults trapped in their own subject, toddlers see and appreciate. when they see colours, they're happy even when the blue clashes with green or red. they dont think an animal is going to die and rot on the ground, they discover life in another creature. nownow, who does not want to go back to that age? all that knowledge we're thrust upon... they only give us the power to analyze and what i've learned from that is to be a pessimist. but then again;

a liar will never trust others, nor will s/he be able to

it hurts to not know.. but sometimes it hurts more to know.

just listen, dont hear

if you push me one more time, i'm going to fall and you wont be able to catch me.

i'll be slipping through your fingers like water and sand, and when you realize, i'll just be another remains on your skin

it's not about the heart no more. my soul is a ticking bomb.

words lost words

What made you fall in love with a prostitute?

I think it was because, knowing that your body would never be mine alone, I had to concentrate on conquering your soul.

5 more minutes

do you know that point where you are right on the edge, exactly one second away from a downhill roller coaster ride? it's terrifying, and i always wish the cart would stop and slowly retreat. all that excitement as i queued to go on the ride would evaporate and a rush of regret flows in. but what the fuck did i expect? i nodded to the choice of adventure and i should have known that it will come in a package of two: ups and downs. life is a parachute jump; taking a chance, falling over and getting up. i should be prepared to go the whole way, instead of avoiding the bends and turns. it's not abnormal to feel nauseated as one rides through life. but if i believe that the track is my destiny and that the cart is a reliable toy that will eventually stop, i might as well enjoy the view and relish the butterflies.

the world is a theme park, and i'd choose a roller coaster ride anytime instead of littering my time away going around and around on the carousel.

the heart is what matters most of all.

-Kris Kristofferson