sweet disposition

temporary is beautiful,

whereas permanence is ......... ?

i spent 10 days with someone who was not my boyfriend nor my friend. there was no red line connecting us yet the attachment was still visible. how long will it last? i don't know, chances are : not long. there are still those Xs tagging along behind both of us, in one way or the other. yet the charm of it is that we both know the attachment can be removed with a single wipe.

why do we admire the temporary moments/things/feelings? i've never realized how amazing the sunlight is in jakarta, yet i get absurdly excited over a second of sunlight entering my windows now. no one would devour the ice cream cake if the truth is that it will never melt. i'll never think of the air unless i'm told that it will reach its limit in the next 3 days. shoes will sell out fast only because they have 'limited editions' printed on them.

people start to gaze at others because of their outer beauty. inner beauties are invisible, lifelong. still, how long does the vision last? we age everyday since we stopped growing. the temporariness of it is everlasting. but when one starts to play with the temporary and make it permanent, that is when the beauty of it is gone - one is left with a hoax and NOT beauty. so where does permanence stand? i think its a mere necessity. we need the air to breathe, we need a strong, reliable personality and we definitely need shoes. haaaa. people tend to be drawn by the outer but fall in love with the inner beauty.

i'm still living the temporary life whereas the X wanted otherwise.

but with this flying duck, i don't need him (yet?). i want him.

why do i miss the other pea? maybe cause you can never change the other pair with another pea. it won't fit in the pod.

it has been 3 years :(

wishful thinking

Eyes are the window to your soul.

.. i wear contact lenses,

does it mean that my soul is glazed ?

niiiiiiiiceeee.

no wasted weekend.

second row from the end, there i was scribbling in my notes. thankfully my eyes were kept open by two invisible threads, or was it the determination? not important. suddenly the slide said:

brand identity + brand personality = strong retail

woke me up in a heartbeat. the whole identity crisis has been on my mind lately, i was trying to decide how to become one individual instead of the countless. funny how a human being can also be understood through the principals of a shop. a retail shop, to be exact. in order for me to be a strong individual, i have to find my own identity.. then build my personality from there? or vice versa? my cousin has been putting that suit on - from surfer guy, preppy to chuck bass and indie. none of them suit him yet he seems comfortable that whenever he changes, he is in a state (or clique). sigh, i actually cannot be fucked to find it. lets hope it'll come to me eventually..

despite all that, i love leading this double life i've started two days ago. dangerous yet thrilling. only a few were informed, others curious.

oh, everything looks perfect from far away.