- I had an appendicitis operation
- I had mock exams - failed one of my highers !
- I got into a fight with one of my closest friends, in which she says she doesn't trust me with any guy she likes
- Biology courseworks are done ! well, the important ones at least.
- I lost my wallet
- I said no to buying baileys (surprisingly)
- I started to shalat again
- I realized who my real friends are, those who will care and those who wont
- I had the best formal dinner, one month anniv. and valentine's day :)
- I said yes to having a relationship in my last 4 months of high school
whoawaaaawait. PAUSE, REWIND -> PLAY.
am i destined to experience these things? or did i decide?
"Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it."
These.. occurences, sometimes triggered by the tiniest factor and cause a storm. Of course, there are ones I want to change - the ones that make me wish time machine really does exist. But which ones are accident and which ones are designed?
Destiny is fixed - assumed to have no variables. "I'll leave that to my destiny", a phrase millions used when asked about their future. The thing is, I think I have too much ego to give my future to destiny. Don't get me wrong, fate and destiny are two different things. Fate refers to the development of our future. Whereas destiny is the predetermined outcome. Honestly, i used to be the up-to-destiny type, but instead of gaining what I wanted, i tended to receive what's settled for me. I am confident to say I don't want my future to be written on a stone with a permanent marker, it is muchmuchmuch too precious.
This is why I am never much of a planner, I guess it's frightening to know what will happen instead of what-could's. I make choices when I am faced with it. Yet, there are those close to me who are always in motion of making plans and the worst thing is when I'm included in their little schemes.
Ergo, stop making me feel like i'm your little robot.
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